Ep. #79-The Love Guru



This week, Mike Myers tries his hardest to capture that old Austin Powers magic–and fails spectacularly–in 2008’s infamous THE LOVE GURU, directed by Marco Schnabel. Myers plays Guru Pitka, a self-help master who is brought in by the Toronto Maple Leafs to help their star player regain his mojo. But instead of enlightenment, what the viewer finds is juvenile jokes, offensive stereotypes, and a completely laugh-free 85 minutes. This is truly one of the most repugnant comedies ever made, which may be why we find it difficult to focus on anything except Justin Timberlake’s schlong and Jessica Alba’s questionable comedic chops. But it sure is fun to discuss.


Ep. #78-Alien 3



In honor of Mother’s Day, this week we take on 1992’s infamous sci-fi sequel ALIEN 3, the debut feature of director David Fincher. Ripley is back, and she’s got a bun in the oven! Only problem is that it’s a bloodthirsty, acid-spewing monster. So, you know, basically your average child. And what Mom can’t relate to a tough-as-nails Sigourney Weaver in full ass-kicking mode? Sure, the film itself may be a bit of a “dumpster fire,” a label lovingly given by co-host Luke, but hey, it’s all a metaphor! (Trust us, you’ll get that joke once you’ve listened.)


Ep. #77-Made in America



In honor of our two-year anniversary, this week we take on 1993’s artificial insemination comedy MADE IN AMERICA, another cinematic classic from Richard Benjamin, director of past episode highlights MARCI X and MILK MONEY. Whoopi Goldberg stars as a single mother who learns 18 years after the fact that–horror of horrors–her sperm donor was obnoxious white car salesman Ted Danson! And she may be falling in love with him! Let’s just say this is not a Spike Lee-level look at race relations in mid-90’s America, although Will Smith is around to to perpetuate offensive gay stereotypes. So just how bad is this movie? Wait until you hear co-host Luke’s rating, a first for our podcast. His hatred for the Benjamin is strong.


Ep. #76-Darkman



On this week’s episode, we tackle 1990’s superhero goof DARKMAN, directed by Mr. Evil Dead himself, Sam Raimi. Liam Neeson stars a brilliant scientist/liquid skin inventor who gets blowed up real good and becomes the disfigured vigilante known as Darkman, who will stop at nothing to thwart an evil real estate developer. Yes, that is indeed the plot of this film, which took five people to write. Think of it like BATMAN meets BREAKIN’, but with way more gore. It’s hard to hate any movie, though, whose plot hinges on something called The Belisarius Memorandum, which is only the fifth most ridiculous thing in this flick. We’ll have what Raimi is smoking, thanks.


Ep. #75-Make Way For Tomorrow



To celebrate our 75th episode, we are going all the way back to 1937 to take on the classic domestic drama MAKE WAY FOR TOMORROW, directed by Leo McCarey. When a pair of aging parents are forced to separate due to financial issues, they discover that their children are literally the worst people on the planet, and that the divide between generations may be impossible to bridge. How this film inspires an in-depth conversation about both the true definition of art appreciation as well as the origins of road head is beyond us, but that is pretty much par for the course for us here. Look, we’re not proud.


Ep. #74-Killer Klowns From Outer Space



This week, the Big Top spells big trouble as we take on 1988’s beloved cult classic KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE, directed by Stephen Chiodo. What happens when an alien race that resembles clowns invades a sleepy college town? Mayhem, kidnappings, decapitations and murder, of course! So does this film still hold up 30 years later? Or has time only strengthened our love for a film where a man is murdered with acid-filled cream pies? Not to tip our hats, but simply typing that sentence filled us with unbridled joy. Bring on the popcorn guns!


Ep. #73-My Best Friend’s Wedding



On the eve of co-host Luke’s nuptials to beloved frequent guest Morgan, we take on 1997’s “romantic” comedy MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING, directed by P.J. Hogan, in which Julia Roberts attempts to sabotage her best friend’s big day when she suddenly realizes she’s in love with him. Lives are shattered, hearts are broken, and somehow America’s Sweetheart comes out unscathed. Gross. But we’re far more interested in Morgan’s professed love of “women with big mouths,” Luke’s fear and disgust of hugging, and Steve’s resemblance to hot dog-eating champion Joey Chestnut. Yeah, things took a turn here. But congrats to Luke and Morgan!


Bonus Episode-2019 Oscar Predictions



Yeah, we know. 2018 was a real crappy year for movies. But that’s not going to stop us from our annual tradition of trying to predict the Oscar winners. Will Luke once again dominate? Can Morgan possibly pull ahead and take the lead even though she has the gall to defend BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY? Will Steve explain his continued hatred for EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE? And what is with Josh’s obsession of BOOK CLUB? Don’t worry, we’re here to help you win your office pools. So grab your ballots and take a listen.


Ep. #72-Little Black Book



It’s February and love is in the air, so we kick things off by tackling quite possibly the most cynical romantic comedy ever produced, 2004’s LITTLE BLACK BOOK, directed by Nick Hurran. Brittany Murphy stars as a Carly Simon-obsessed career woman who begins to suspect that her boyfriend is keeping secrets, so she does what any sane person would do: pretend to be someone else, befriend his exes, and basically destroy the lives of everyone around her. Oh, and did we mention this film is also a critique of trashy daytime talk shows? And has one of the most insane twists we’ve ever seen? Things get weird, and we’re not just talking about co-host Steve’s creepy obsession with Murphy’s co-star Julianne Nicholson.


Ep. #71-The Prophecy



This week, a war between angels in Heaven makes its way to earth in 1995’s ridiculous gore-fest THE PROPHECY, directed by Gregory Widen. God only knows how a slew of respected character actors got roped into this silliness, but if you ever wanted to see Christopher Walken as the archangel Gabriel play the trumpet with a gaggle of adorable moppets, or Viggo Mortensen threaten to shove feces into the mouth of Virginia Madsen, or Eric Stoltz french kiss a corpse, you could do a lot worse. Hell, this film so inspired our guest that he literally breaks into song. Heavenly forces are indeed at work here.