The week, we are celebrating both our Month of Horrors Extravaganza and our 100th episode by taking on Nicolas Cage in his most deranged role–1989’s VAMPIRE’S KISS, directed by Robert Bierman. The Cagester himself stars as a publishing executive who becomes convinced that he is turning into a vampire, resulting in whole lot of bug-eyed looks, random hip thrusts, and an accent that can best be described as “unidentifiable.” And just when we thought things couldn’t get any better, the man puts in some plastic fangs. This could be a masterpiece.
This week, we kick off our annual Month of Horrors Extravaganza by taking on 1996’s teen thriller THE CRAFT, directed by Andrew Fleming. Four high school girls get witchy and discover that with great power comes great responsibility…or something. Honestly, the messaging here is a little muddled, and what seems on the surface like a tale of female empowerment becomes more complicated upon a closer look. Honestly, we had no idea it was even possible to devote this much careful thought and analysis to a film like THE CRAFT. We impressed even ourselves is all we’re saying.
On this week’s episode, we open up the time capsule that is 1994’s THE CROW, directed by Alex Proyas. The late Brandon Lee stars as a deceased rocker who has risen from the dead to take revenge on the men responsible for the murder of he and his fiancee. With an aesthetic best described as Hot Topic meets Marilyn Manson, with an extra layer of grime and sludge, a Goth-riffic time will certainly be had by all. And yes, this was one of the biggest hits of 1994. It was a complex time, we swear.
How does one even attempt to top a film as revolutionary as Jean-Luc Godard’s French New Wave classic BREATHLESS? We try to find the answer as we take on 1983’s remake BREATHLESS, directed by Jim McBride. Richard Gere’s penis and Valerie Kaprisky’s breasts star as a couple of wild and crazy lovers who talk and bone their way through L.A. Somehow Jerry Lee Lewis and the Silver Surfer make their way into the proceedings, while McBride tries his hardest to showcase every ’80’s film trope on record. Color us shocked that this is one of Quentin Tarantino’s favorite films.
On this week’s episode, we tackle 2013’s desperately unfunny MEN IN BLACK wannabe R.I.P.D., directed by Robert Schwentke. Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges play a couple of dead law enforcement officers forced to serve in the Rest In Peace Department, the afterlife’s version of the police. Will these two polar opposites manage to set aside their differences and work together to capture some escaped evil souls, a.k.a. Deados? Will Reynolds be able to make amends with his surviving wife? Will Bridges ever stop talking like he has a piece of candy stuck in his mouth?! Look, we will be honest with you: this entire episode is basically three inebriated guys doing bad Bridges impressions. So if that sounds like your type of thing, we got you covered!
This week, we here at SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER!?! have a spring in our step and a song in our heart as we discuss 2001’s gonzo musical MOULIN ROUGE!, directed by the one and only Baz Luhrmann. Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman play doomed lovebirds at the titular nightclub, where the activities taking place aren’t nearly as insane as the filmmaking on display. From the seizure-inducing imagery to the pop song mash-ups, you’ll swear you downed a bottle of absinthe by minute three. But does it all still hold up 18 years later? Follow the green fairy and find out!
Our month devoted to YA adaptations wraps up this week as we take on 2012’s coming-of-age dramedy THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER, written and directed by Stephen Chbosky. Logan Lerman stars as an anxiety-ridden teenager who learns to navigate the living hell that is high school with a little help from new friends Emma Watson and Ezra Miller. All of this angst inspires nostalgia in co-hosts Luke and Steve, who weren’t always quite so surly. So take a trip down memory lane with us. It’s not as scary as it sounds, we swear.
Our YA adaptation month rolls on as we discuss 2013’s BEAUTIFUL CREATURES, directed by Richad LaGravenese and based on the novel by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. Witches–sorry, casters–and mortals be fallin’ in love as a centuries-long battle between good and evil finally comes to a head in this campy piece of Southern Gothic that shockingly failed to impress its intended teen audience. This film is truly bonkers, and we mean that as a compliment. So grab yourself a mint julep and watch as numerous Oscar winners (Jeremy Irons! Viola Davis! Emma Thompson!) embarrass themselves, all in the name of that potential franchise money. It’s kinda glorious.
Our month of YA adaptations continues as we take on 2014’s DIVERGENT, directed by Neil Burger and based on the novel by Veronica Roth. In a post-apocalyptic Chicago, society has been divided into five factions, and conformity is the name of the game. But what happens when our heroine Tris discovers that free will is more deadly than corrupt government officials and Parkour-obsessed douthchebags? All we know for sure is that Theo James is one sexy dude, and that this film isn’t nearly as bad as its reputation might suggest. Hey, we’re just exercising our freedom of speech here. Suck our cognitive transmitters!
Our month devoted to YA adaptations continues as we discuss 2008’s infamous vampire romance TWILIGHT, directed by Catherine Hardwicke. Watch as a grown-ass man over 100-years-old seduces an emotionally-stunted high school girl! Swoon as he obsessively follows her everywhere and watches her sleep! Your heart will skip a beat as she destroys every other healthy relationship in her life to please this hunky monster! To say the messaging in this film is troubling–especially in 2019–is an understatement, although we’re not entirely convinced author Stephanie Meyer was even self-aware enough to understand what the hell she was writing. Hardwicke, on the other hand, has no such excuse for her ridiculous filmmaking flourishes. So it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, then, that co-host Luke thinks this is one of the greatest films of all time. Team Jacob!!