This week, we take on 1984’s STREETS OF FIRE, directed by Walter Hill, a film that opens by helpfully describing itself as a “rock fable.” Without the guidance, it would be hard to know what the hell to label this thing, a genre mash-up including everything from dystopic wastelands to ’50’s greasers to western showdowns to ’80’s rock opera to hard-boiled film noir. The ride is a bumpy one, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its pleasures, including a kick-ass soundtrack and an impressive visual aesthetic. Unfortunately, it also has lead Michael Pare, an actor so terrible that naturally co-host Luke can’t help but defend him. Tonight is what it means to be dumb.
How does one even attempt to top a film as revolutionary as Jean-Luc Godard’s French New Wave classic BREATHLESS? We try to find the answer as we take on 1983’s remake BREATHLESS, directed by Jim McBride. Richard Gere’s penis and Valerie Kaprisky’s breasts star as a couple of wild and crazy lovers who talk and bone their way through L.A. Somehow Jerry Lee Lewis and the Silver Surfer make their way into the proceedings, while McBride tries his hardest to showcase every ’80’s film trope on record. Color us shocked that this is one of Quentin Tarantino’s favorite films.