June is Bale Month here at SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER!?!, where we tackle a few of the films of the talented–and temperamental–Christian Bale. First up is 1992’s NEWSIES, directed by Kenny Ortega, the heart-warming Disney musical about the 1899 Newsboys’ Strike in New York City. Nothing screams ‘uplift’ quite like watching a group of orphans sing and dance about child labor laws and unionization, although an even more impressive feat of tap dancing is listening to co-host Luke defend this trainwreck. His love of this film knows no bounds, and frankly, it frightens us. Not as much as Bale’s ‘Santa Fe’ number here, but a close second.
On this week’s episode, we tackle another ’80’s cult oddity: Robert Greenwald’s XANADU, a roller skating disco musical from 1980 that arrived about a year after disco officially died and is shockingly short on singing. But it sure has roller skating. So much roller skating. And Gene Kelly in what is arguably the most embarrassing swan song in film history. At least Olivia Newton-John is on hand as a neon-emitting Greek muse who pretty much crushes everyone’s dreams. Yeah, this is a confused film. So, naturally, co-host Luke loved it. He should be ashamed.
On this week’s episode, we tackle 2002’s THE COUNTRY BEARS, inspired by the classic Disney attraction. Who knew our first foray into G-rated fare would result in such profound talking points as the ethics of interspecies adoption, drug addiction, gender identification, and music appreciation? Oh, and maybe beastialtiy. Bear-gasms? Definitely. And hey, is that Christopher Walken in boxer shorts and bunny slippers?
On this week’s episode, we tackle 2003’s infamous American Idol musical romance FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY, A.K.A. CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATION: THE MOVIE. Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini prove to be about as sexy as a case of chlamydia on spring break, while the musical numbers make one yearn for the complexity of a junior high school talent show. And those are the positives. Who says what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? Oh, wait…